I'm trying to be objective in my retelling the story behind the final moment of our relationship.
I'm trying to backtrack here:
On 9 Apr 2011 - I found that she had blocked me from her FB account.
On 5 Apr 2011 - I emailed her to the her my true feelings and I still care for her. I mentioned that I felt being punished and hurt inside. She didn't replied.
On 4 Apr 2011 - She emailed to enquire about my health. She hoped that this separation is of my benefit, so work place for MOship and career options wouldn't be a dilemma. She hope relationship issues to be kept private and confidential.
On 31 Mar 2011 - She called to say she wanted us to be close buddies. She didn't want her to be the reason I'm staying. She doubted that we would even be together. Religion is an issue. Distance is an issue. I'm devastated and couldn't concentrate on my work.
On 29 Mar 2011 - She appeared confused. Distance and commitments may be contributing factors. She can't feel how much i love her. She think I love myself more and not being understanding. She is angry that she was given a hard time by me. She thought that she was obliging and tolerating and I had been cornering her to the max. And all these made her unhappy.
On 25 Mar 2011 - She texted to say that her Mom forbids me to share a room with her. I was unhappy that she brought a friend along as 'chaperone'.
On 27 Mar 2011 - I texted her but she didn't reply. She later called to say that she lost her phone in her male friend's car. It was 2am. I was unhappy that she was with a male friend so late. She said that she went to her Aunt's house with him and a female friend. I was unhappy that she still hasn't seen the pendrive movie 'My Love Darling Project' that I prepared for her. I was unhappy that I wasn't the reason she chose to stay in Malaysia. I was unhappy over her priorities in relationship. She was still unhappy that I was being cold to her and victimized her few days earlier. I didn't know whether I had hurt her in the process of being 'truthful'.
On 24 Mar 2011 - She apologized for not being understanding. She wanted to know our plans in Melbourne and arranged to meet at Flinders Street Station.
On 23 Mar 2011 - I was post call. I am packing back home when she wanted to chat. We chatted halfway when she said brb. I waited for 5 min and asked where she had been. I sarcastically teased whether she was busy and had more important things to do. She retorted back that she was talking to her mom. I said I was post call but she was unhappy.
On 21 Mar 2011 - I had corrected the Skype camera that she was unhappy about and was eager to show her at 925pm. It was 1225pm. She refused to chat even for 5 mins as it was late. She apologized the next day.
The ultimate reason behind lost love - Okay, I admit I may have make mistakes. I'm just human, so human makes mistakes. And I've received more than my fair share of punishment for that. My mistakes :-
Top 10 - I cannot control my emotions
Top 9 - I have no proper stress coping skills
Top 8 - I can get depressed easily
Top 7 - I am indecisive about my future
Top 6 - I am dependent, clingy, and become jealous easily
Top 5 - I have poor social circle with lack of social skills
Top 4 - I did not view from my lover's point of view
Top 3 - I am insensitive to a girl's feelings
Top 2 - I am uncertain about my principles and belief
Top 1 - I did not understand that love is all about giving and not expecting any in return. I am overconfident that I'm her future husband and did not show that I deserve her love for eternity.
No comments:
Post a Comment