The days seem to past so slow. Now is only day 13 from the separation that fills my heart with disappointment and despair. I don't want to move on. I sincerely don't. I don't want to lose her.
I'm preparing for a possible comeback. That if she is receptive to the idea. Being in a relationship where the parents don't like me, I'm doomed.
I know forcing will not soothe her pain. But being together will alleviate mine. I wanted to die, because I felt a feeling that feel worse than death. At least if i'm dead, I won't be able to do anything about it. Now I know I have a choice and I can't take that choice. How else can life be more torturing? I'm suffering from the pain of waiting. I don't know if being friends with her would cure me or pull me further into the path of pain. Arggh! God, it's torturing!
Nothing seems to pull me back on track. I felt like i'm a living dead. There's nothing to look forward to in the future if my mind is in the past.
Everything I tried, occupy my mind with work, think of meeting new girls and let her go seems only to be symptomatic relief. It doesn't treat the underlying cause. I'm just too deeply in love with her. 8 months is a long time to forget in 2 weeks. It'll take time.
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